Remains
By Abra
Notes:
This story takes place about a year after Smith
has been set free, 18 months after the end of
the film and really doesn’t have relevant plot,
I just thought Tank deserved a little more attention
and at the same time took the opportunity to introduce
a new character.
A
black room. It's cold. Dark and just a bit damp.
It's familiar, but she still can't quite figure
out why. Outside it's raining, she can't see out
the window, but she can recognise the sound of
water slamming against the corrugated roof. She
is standing in the open door, and as she steps
into the dirty room she is confronted by a stifling
smell of rotting flesh. She winces and tries not
to inhale too much of the stink. On the other
side of the room there is a bed. She is drawn
to it instinctively and on it there is a body.
A dead one. A very dead one. She struggles to
keep from vomiting as she realises that this rotting
corpse is where the smell is coming from. The
body is of a woman, but it is only by the exposed
genitals that she can tell. The body is so badly
decomposed that the facial features are only barely
recognisable, the skin is shrivelled and black
and a few maggots are working their way in and
out of the hands and feet. She looks at the face.
The woman looks like she is sleeping. She seems
so familiar. She looks at the remains of the face
and feels so drawn to her. She feels hypnotised
and it feels like is standing there for an eternity,
but she isn't scared, even though there is a sense
of doom hanging on the air. She suddenly stiffens.
Her mind freezes. She realises she has begun to
shake, and now sees why. The corpses eyes are
opening. Ever so slowly, as if it is trying to
drag out the feeling of fear and disgust. She
is still just standing there, can't move, can't
scream. Can only watch. Watch as the eyelids uncover
a pair of dazzling ice blue eyes, fixed on the
ceiling above her. Then they begin to roll to
one side, then the other, before they fix on her.
Staring. Cold. She stares back. Until she comes
to a horrible realisation. The eyes are hers.
Yzzy
woke up with a scream, drenched in cold sweat
and shaking like mad. She looked around and was
disorientated for just long enough for her to
start panicking. She lurched as the heavy steel
door to her chamber swung open and a concerned
face peered in. She sighed in relief. It was Tank.
"Shit, what
the hell happened, I heard you scream?!?"
"Oh it’s ok,
I was just having a bad dream", she used the last
bit of air in her lungs to disguise her concern
and shortness of breath. Tank wasn’t convinced.
Always so bloody curious, just her luck she had
to be placed in the quarters right next-door to
the Nebuchadnezzar’s agony aunt number one.
"Look Yzzy,
it’s the third time this week, don’t you think
you should talk to someone about whatever’s troubling
you?"
He gave a little
knowing smirk.
"Preferably
me…"
Yzzy shot a
nasty glare at him, but she quickly turned her
glance to the ground; even she couldn’t hate that
way his eyebrows shot up- and outwards when he
smiled. But that didn’t mean she was going to
let him see it.
"Well if you’re
so smart, Tank, then maybe you can tell me what
it is that could be bothering me, ‘cause I sure
as hell don’t know what you’re talking about."
She gathered the courage to look back up into
his eyes, which were now a bit colder, and gave
him a nastily sarcastic smile. Tank just turned
around on his heel, shaking his head.
He paused in
the door with his back still turned and it looked
almost as if he was going to look back at her.
"You know, Yzzy, no one hates you here."
But he looked
at the ground and made sure not to wake the others
as he shut her door behind him.
As hard as
she tried, she couldn’t quite suppress the well
known feeling of a knot forming in her stomach.
She
half woke up around 5 hours later, she could hear
commotion in the op room and she felt heavy as
she dragged herself onto the floor. Shit. Was
she feeling guilty now?
"Come on",
she thought, "get a grip. Don’t let them get to
you."
But she made
a mental note to be nicer to Tank from now on.
In the door on her way out she nearly let out
a little cry as she walked slam into Weasel. "Shit
man don’t do that!" she said with a hint of annoyance
on her voice. On purpose. She knew that Weasel
was a perceptive person and she could always count
on him to be the first (sometimes only) one to
pick up on subtle signals.
"Hey sorry",
he snorted back. "Just thought you should come
up on the main deck, ok? Just being friendly."
He sized her
down with his eyes to let her know he still had
the mental upper hand between them before hurrying
back up the ladder. Yzzy was getting sick of these
people, their fucking moral values, always such
thoroughly altogether good human beings. Human
goddamn beings. She had another moment of secret
astonishment at her current predicament as she
struggled up the ladder and into the small crowd
that had gathered around one of the monitors.
She preferred to spend an extra minute figuring
out to herself what was going on than having to
put on a curious and polite face and ask someone.
She stared at the coding rushing down the screen
and tried hard to look focused as she could feel
a pair of eyes staring her down. She realised
she was giving in and put up her shield; peered
slightly to the right and caught Tank’s unnerving
gaze red-handed. Tank, not being one easily pushed
around himself locked her eyes for a moment before
turning his full concentration back to the monitor.
It
was nothing special, just Smith having a go in
the Matrix on his own. Not very interesting. So
Yzzy walked off to get breakfast ready. Tank saw
her and he gave Neo his headphones. Neo looked
questioningly at Tank, then glanced over his shoulder
and saw Yzzy lurking off, and he nodded to him
and took over.
In
the mess hall, Yzzy was getting out bowls and
cups out, Tank could see she was frustrated.
"Look, Yzzy,
I…" he began.
"What?" she
retorted as she slammed a cup into the table,
still not looking him in the eye, yet obviously
keeping an eye on his every move. He moved closer
and leaned against the wall next to her.
"I know you
know I only want to help you adjust".
"Adjust?!?!
What the hell are you talking about? Do you think
I’m goddamn blind? Don’t you think I see the looks
you guys send each other when we’re in the same
room? I’m not stupid…"
"I know you’re
not stupid, Yzzy. You’re special, in more ways
than one." He reached out to touch her shoulder
but she flung herself away from his whole body.
"Don’t you
fucking touch me!" she yelled. "Fuck you! Fuck
all of you!!!"
Her yelling
became a scream and the rest of the crew could
hear her going over the top.
"FUCK ALL OF
YOU GODDAMN PRICKS. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT, YOU ASSHOLES!!!"
By now Tank
had to physically restrain her from trashing the
whole room, and Neo and Dink had responded immediately
to his calls for help. They, along with the crew
had always had a feeling something was going to
give way with Yzzy. And now it did; she was going
totally insane. And they knew this could mean
trouble, she was a strong woman, and now she was
proving to be a lot stronger than anticipated.
Her rage gave her unbelievable force and she flung
Tank halfway across the mess hall, backing further
into a corner.
"Just GO AWAY,
ALL OF YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Her voice was
already giving in, she wasn’t use to using it
to this degree and her body was doing the same.
"Take it easy,
Yzzy", Neo coaxed as he slowly advanced. Dink,
a considerably larger man than Neo was trying
to close in on her from the side, as was Tank,
who had a bit of a split lip.
"YOU take it
FUCKING EASY!!!" she used her last strength to
yell in his face. She was still backing herself
into a corner and Neo saw his chance and lunged
forward trying to pin her arms down, but Yzzy
herself was a quick thinker, and as she saw humanity’s
most valuable body lurch at her, she shot out
her hand and grabbed hold of a fairly large knife
lying on the table and swung out her arm, coming
within alarming distance of his stomach. Trinity
gasped, not loud but obviously only suppressing
a scream. By now the rest of the ship’s occupants
had gathered and were watching from the confines
of the doorway.
"STAY AWAY!"
she screamed frantically. Neo was in shock along
with everyone else as they suddenly could see
the wild fury in Yzzy’s eyes. She had grabbed
hold of the blade in her panicked rush and blood
was now dripping from her clenched fist.
"Stay away"
she said, now beginning to fall to her knees,
giving up with a look of pure pain and hate, until
she was fully squatting on her knees, shaking
violently as Tank, Neo and Dink, forcing themselves
out of their shock, began to creep in on her.
"Stay away…" she whimpered.
She looked
up at them with tears in her desperate eyes. And
lifted the knife above her head. She shrieked
and she used her last energy to plunge it into
her stomach, and it was too late for the three
strong men to stop her.
"NO!" Tank
screamed. "NO NO NO!!!"
He lunged forward
to her side and Neo helped him pry the knife out
of her hand, as she whispered "Stay away…"
Glitch hurried
over to help carry her to the small and poorly
equipped infirmary where she found a syringe to
sedate the violently shaking woman, and as she
calmed down, she instructed Tank to hold pressure
to her knife wound. She was bleeding heavily.
"It doesn’t
look too deep" Glitch assured a panicked Tank.
She gave her sleeping face a genuinely concerned
look. "She’ll be fine. For now… I think maybe
you should go to your quarters. And send in Morpheus."
Tank nodded
and dragged himself out of the room. Everyone
else was waiting outside, their leader if front.
Tank just made a small motion with his head and
Morpheus understood. He sighed at him as he walked
through the crowd which opened up a path for him,
his head lowered. Trinity stopped him.
"Tank, will
she be ok?"
"Yeah, she’ll
be fine" he sighed as he tore himself away from
her.
"What
do think happened to her. I mean, something must
have snapped to make go explode like that. And
what will we do with her, we can’t have some suicidal
maniac running around while…"
"Calm down
Trin", Neo cut in. "I don’t know what we can do
but give her the support she needs".
"What the hell
are you talking about? She tried to kill you Neo,
don’t you think she needs a bit more than support?!"
"But she didn’t
kill me. And I don’t think she was going to."
Trinity shook
her head.
"Perhaps you’re
right, I just…I was so scared there Neo."
"It’s ok now."
He stood up
from the bed and embraced her. For a while they
just stood there in each other’s arms.
"I should go
talk to Tank."
"Yeah…" He
gave her a kiss and smiled.
"You do that."
"Well?
What do we do?" she asked him. He looked down
on Yzzy with a worrying frown.
"First we have
to find out what caused all this. She’s been secluded
and bitter ever since she got here. I think maybe
her mind couldn’t handle her situation."
"You mean she
popped? Come on, Morpheus, she’s been here for
five months!"
He nodded.
"It’s happened
before. It happened to one of our late crew members,
but I don’t think it’s ever made the individual
violent. But guessing from the way she’s been
closed and secretive, I’d say she’s been repressing
something. Whether it was being freed or something
else, Glitch, we have to keep a very close watch
over her. I’m talking 24/7, alright? I’ll help
take a few shifts."
"I understand.
But I still don’t agree with you about the reason
for all this."
He didn’t answer,
he just looked at her knowingly and walked out
of the infirmary. Outside Dink, Weasel and Icarus
were waiting to be filled in.
"Well..?" Icarus
coaxed. "What was going on? What happened?"
"Don’t worry.
She’ll survive. But I want you guys to go easy
on her. I know she can be a bit nasty to you,
but don’t let it get to you. Be nice to her, she’s
having a hard time."
"Sure." he
replied as Morpheus walked to Smith’s console
to help him out of the Matrix simulation. Weasel
looked down.
As he gasped
into consciousness he looked around and immediately
registered the worried looks of the others.
"What?" he
asked. "What’s wrong?"
"Yzzy" Weasel
said. "She lost it totally. She tried to kill
herself and came damn close to taking Neo with
her in the process. I’m talking totally psycho."
"Oh…". Smith
didn’t seem too shocked, but no one took too much
notice of his unusual reaction, as Glitch came
out of the infirmary and inquired for help to
carry the unconscious Yzzy to her chamber. Dink
hurried to help her and they got her onto her
bed. Glitch shook her head as she sat down beside
her on a stool.
"Tank?"
Trinity peered in his door. "Can I come in?" He
didn’t answer, but he didn’t say no, so she tiptoed
in and quietly shut the door. He was lying on
his side facing the wall, a sight that scared
her. She had never seen him this weak, so vulnerable.
Tank was the rock here. The one who could always
be counted on to keep you going, encouraging you
to never give up, and there he was, this strong
man everyone knew they could count on to cheer
them up curled up like a little boy. And so Trinity’s
feeling of obligation to help him was strongly
reinforced.
She sat down
on the side of his bed and touched his shoulder.
"Why did she
do it?" His voice startled her, only once had
she heard his voice this soft and sad, and that
was in one his darkest moments, about to sacrifice
the most loved person in his life to save Zion.
"I only wanted
to help her…"
"It’s not your
fault, Tank, it had to happen some time, you of
all people should know that. You’ve seen her,
you knew something was really wrong with her."
"Yeah but I
set it off didn’t I? The sight of ME made her
try to goddamn kill herself, Trin. How can I not
feel it’s my fault?"
"You can start
by pulling yourself together and using your brain.
You know it had nothing to do with you, that it
was something deeper."
He turned onto
his back and looked Trinity in the eye.
"You should
understand, Trin. I love her. Like you love Neo.
I can’t just watch indifferent as she tries to
kill herself."
"You’re right.
I’m sorry. Look, you just stay here for a while,
I’ll tell the others to give you some privacy."
"Thanks, Trin."
She gave him
a big hug before she stood up and smiled at him.
She was halfway out the door when Tank called
out.
"Trinity?"
"Yes?" She
turned halfway around and cocked her head slightly
to one side.
He smiled his
stunning smile that made his whole face light
up. "You’re going to be a great mother."
She let out
a little chuckle and shook her head. Tank lay
down again and she left the room thoroughly reassured.
"Morpheus?"
He didn’t look up from his work at the monitor.
"Hmm, what
is it Smith?"
Smith sat down
next to him.
"What’s this
I hear about Yzzy? Is she ok?"
"Oh yes she’s
fine. Well, as far as her body goes anyway. She
snapped in the mess hall and tried to kill herself.
I’m really concerned, she could be a threat in
her state. She nearly slashed Neo’s stomach open."
Morpheus looked at him. "I don’t know what to
do with her."
"You’re not
concerned about her feelings though are you?"
Morpheus was
startled at this show of genuine human compassion.
And the worst thing was he didn’t know how to
answer the question without making it look like
a cover-up. Finally he took a deep breath and
smiled at him.
"You just intimidated
me, you know that Smith?"
"Yes."
"You still
get a kick out of it?"
"Hmmm…"
Then unexpectedly
Smith began to chuckle. Morpheus stared in disbelief,
then he too broke out in laughter. And for the
first time Smith really felt human, and Morpheus
realised he was.
The moment
quickly passed though and Smith regained his solemn
face.
"I think I
know what’s wrong with Yzzy."
Morpheus raised
an eyebrow.
"I’ve sensed
a certain resentment from her, like she’s really
got something against us." He looked at his leader.
"You think
she has a reason to?"
"Well no, I
don’t see how she’s been treated any different
from anyone else. But then again she was lurched
pretty suddenly from her life in the Matrix. And
it wouldn’t surprise me if she unconsciously holds
that against us, even if she doesn’t want to.
And don’t forget she’s got a past, Morpheus, seeing
your parents getting shot is bound to leave some
nasty scars."
He seemed a
bit a bit embarrassed as he said it, since it
was his own kind, or ex-kind, that had done the
deed. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt.
He got up, leaving the thoughtful man to consider
his theory.
A
few hours later, Tank woke up to the metallic
clank of his door opening. He must have fallen
asleep. He felt a whoosh in his gut when he saw
who it was.
"Yzzy. What
are you doing here, shouldn’t you be in bed?!"
"You mean locked
away under observation."
He looked down,
embarrassed.
"Yes, I suppose
I should be. I snuck out of the infirmary when
Icarus fell asleep. I needed to talk to you."
"No you don’t,
Yzzy. I shouldn’t mess myself up in your personal
affairs. It has nothing to do with me and I think
it should stay that way."
"I know you
want to help me, Tank. And I want you to. I want
you to know me, to trust me."
He looked up
at her and saw she had tears in her eyes.
"Will you let
me confide in you?"
He patted the
bed next to him.
"Anytime."
She sat down,
but still at a safe distance.
"I…I don’t
know where to start. I hated you. All of you aboard
this ship, I couldn’t stand you. I’m not even
sure why. You, you wouldn’t understand me and
I blamed you for it. But you couldn’t possibly.
You couldn’t possibly understand what I went through
when they set me free. And they didn’t care what
it did to me. I just couldn’t handle it and I
blamed it on you guys instead of facing it my
problems. I blamed it all on you. And that’s a
lot of hate, I’m a hateful person. Do you know
what happened?"
Every fibre
in his body was attentive. He shook his head.
"I’d been snooping
around and I made the mistake of trying to know
what the Matrix was. And they knew I was dangerous.
And so they set out to eliminate the danger. I
got away, but they killed my parents. Right in
front of me, Tank, I saw my parents’ desperate
eyes as they were shot and all I could do was
run away…I…" She muffled a sob.
"Shhh". He
never realised how she could have felt.
She leaned
herself onto his shoulder and he sighed with relief.
He embraced her and she accepted his heartfelt
comfort, and there she was crying in the arms
of a man who she could have killed just a few
hours ago. And she realised how much she needed
this comfort.
"Thank you
for telling me."
She looked
up at him.
"Thanks for
letting me."
"Shitshitshitshit!"
Icarus flew
out of his chair and out to find Yzzy. He met
Dink on the way.
"What the..?"
"No time, Yzzy’s
gone!" he panted as he rushed past him.
"Oh crap!"
They checked
everyone’s quarters, all empty, until they came
to Tank’s closed door. They flung it open in panic
not quite knowing what to expect. They were beyond
surprised when they saw the two asleep, Tank with
his arms around her waist holding her hands.
"Oh my god…"
Dink whispered.
They backed
out slowly, leaving the door open as they ran
to the op room.
"Everyone come
here! Now!"
Glitch saw
Icarus and looked pretty pissed off.
"What the hell
are you doing out of Yzzy’s room?!?! You were
told to…"
"Just wait"
he interrupted, "just come with me!"
They all reluctantly
got up and followed in procession to Tank’s doorway,
where they all stopped dead in their tracks when
they saw the two sleeping like babies.
"Holy shit"
Neo managed to say. Trinity looked lovingly at
him and took his hand.
"Leave them."
Morpheus said and they all obeyed. As the door
softly clanked shut, Yzzy allowed herself a small
smile. And lying behind her, Tank did the same.